Chief Morale Officer

My name is Presley and I am responsible for Morale and Security at Insightrix Research. My education is from the School of Hard Knocks.
My background is that I was picked up by Corrin, the President, from the highway when I had lost my way. She could see through my long matted hair and ticks that I was a gentleman and absolutely loyal. Lacking identification and with no owner stepping forward, I was adopted by the company.
A bath, actually two baths and a haircut later, I was introduced to the staff at Insightrix. My job is to lay under Corrin’s desk, sleeping and ensuring all meetings stay on track. I do this by getting up and stretching as a gentle hint that the meeting has gone on long enough, and that it is now time to pay attention to me.

My responsibilities are to encourage participation among the staff by picking up the toys they throw and then letting them run after me to try to get them back.


I sit through all interviews, which I have heard being jokingly referred to as the Presley test.


During the weekday, I try to help each employee feel I appreciate and love them. I rotate the order of whose desk I lay under. I have appointed Larry to take me out for a walk each day at noon. I know who has great lunches and likes to give me treats, thereby making sure they don’t overeat.


At night, Larry takes me to his home. There, after a hard day of sleeping and exercising the staff, we sit down on the chesterfield, have dinner and watch tv. When the news is over, I let Larry know it is time for bed by vacating the chesterfield and going to bed myself.